Keep your dignity dear to you, do not upset yourself.

When he feels that you have forgotten. Tomorrow; he will go all over the world searching for you

- Haifa Wahbi

Hello. I am from Syria, where I spent my life and received my education. I attended the university there, studying at the College of Commerce and Economics. Living with my family was a cherished experience. Regrettably, due to the war in Syria, I was compelled to leave. I emigrated from my homeland and have since settled in the United Kingdom.

From a young age, I sensed that I was a woman trapped in a boy's or man's body. Regrettably, I concealed these feelings, uncertain of who to confide in, as I lived in a society that shunned differences. Any deviation from the norm was rejected. We were brought up in a culture that upheld a singular concept. Regrettably, my experiences have been fraught with hardship. There was no one I felt comfortable confiding in, not even my family, to whom I couldn't reveal my truth; that I identify as female, not as a boy or a man. My upbringing was within a society entrenched in misguided beliefs, a society that, out of religious fear, suspected me of wrongdoing without understanding my internal struggle. It is I who endure this life, I who feel it deeply, and no one else can grasp this feeling. My suffering has been profound; it stems from the way people perceive me and their expectations of me. The incessant questions about my nature have been burdensome. I was born this way; it's not a choice, yet it is my reality.

My country went to war while I was finishing up my education. Unfortunately, the war and other circumstances caused me to lose many of my family members. I lost many pals. Many of my closest friends and family members passed away. I was considerably younger when I lost my brother in the war. During the conflict, many individuals perished as a result of the bombing. No one can endure to witness such a horrible sense. Thus, I departed from Syria, leaving behind my university, and migrated to Europe, eventually settling in Britain where I now reside. I sought asylum and endured an extensive wait before finally securing residency. In my quest to forge a new life, I encountered many individuals with the same mindset as those in Syria, though it's not my intention to make sweeping generalizations about society at large. Indeed, there exists a segment of society that is highly understanding, educated, and cultured. Nevertheless, my personal experiences of suffering have persisted, even here in Britain, specifically in Scotland.

I was assaulted by three individuals who targeted me due to my transgender identity. They subjected me to physical violence, verbal insults, sexual assault, and harassment, and misgendered me with derogatory terms.  I was deeply frightened. Regrettably, this event has profoundly impacted my life. For over a year now, I have been receiving weekly psychological treatment. My ability to complete my studies has been compromised due to the significant effects of the ordeal. When I was being assaulted and verbally abused by those three individuals, I felt as though everyone was against me. The same individuals launched a second assault. I reported the incidents to the police, detailing the assault and the injuries I sustained due to my sexual orientation. Residing in the United Kingdom, I am not subject to the laws of Syria or any other Arab nation. It is expected that all who live here must abide by the law and show respect for one another. However, what transpired was an act of harm; they attacked and injured me. I have taken photographic evidence of the bruises.

Regrettably, I suffered from broken ribs and lost a tooth. I sought legal counsel and filed a complaint, but the process was slow with no prompt resolution. I reached out to various organizations, including LGBT groups, to assert my rights. I believe these individuals pose a significant threat not only to me but to others as well. I live in a country that values human rights, governed by laws that protect me from being harmed by any words or actions. Regrettably, I encountered three individuals whose aggression left me uncertain of how to react or respond. However, I am determined not to let this incident pass; I will pursue legal action to ensure justice is served and to set a precedent that our laws are to be honoured.

I am astonished by the extent to which some individuals bring animosity and an unwillingness to accept others due to their orientations, gender, religion, customs, and traditions brought from their homelands, and then attempt to impose these prejudices in a new environment. I genuinely hold their families responsible, because if they hadn't taught them to hate and reject others, they would not have grown into the children they are now. I also hope that these people are held accountable as soon as possible, whether through incarceration or deportation. I have no tolerance for people like this since I've witnessed hatred, violence, beatings, and insults. I adore my mother, and she and I were frequently humiliated by such people. I hope that the British and Scottish governments will get my rights from these people so that they can serve as an example to anyone who considers robbing me of my rights.

I am calling on all people who have been subjected to bullying, persecution, or assault to immediately complain and exercise their legal rights. Silence is not an option, for we are in the right; it is the perpetrators who are in the wrong, being ignorant, and narrow-minded. Regrettably, I have been enduring psychological suffering that has led to a loss of bladder control, resulting in involuntary urination due to fear.

I now have a fear of going to the City Centre. The police must take this case seriously. They seem to evade accountability; they must face judgment. There must be something to deter them. What they did was wrong. Where do they reside to exhibit such behaviour? Living in Britain, a nation known for human rights, I expect there to be accountability for these individuals. How is it possible for me to be subjected to sexual assault, rape, harassment, battery, abuse, and insults in Britain? Moreover, being misgendered when I am a female is unacceptable. I should have the freedom to live my life as I please.

I also hope that someone from the Scottish government and police would respect my rights and proceed with the case.  I am glad that that I am making efforts to recover; however, the shock is so severe that I have not been able to continue my education, out of terror. They appear in my dreams and nightmares, attempting to approach my house. I do not recognize these individuals; their names, addresses, and any information about them are unknown to me. I tried to gather information about them. I discovered the Facebook profile of one of my attackers, and through the comments, located the others involved in the assault. I provided this information to the police, who will handle the situation appropriately. I have suffered greatly and continue to do so. I am hurting since I am separated from my family, particularly from my mother. I have not met my family in over seven years. To be honest, my life has been extremely challenging, and I find myself at a loss for words.

To be honest, the severe circumstances I endured made it quite challenging, leaving me deeply saddened and often in tears, far away from my family. Nonetheless, I believe that the second half of my life, or most of it, must be cheerful. Life should be about happiness and joy; it waits for no one. We need to attempt to make ourselves happy. Therefore, I try as much as I can to watch TV series and films, listen to music, dance, and engage in playful activities with my friends.

Despite my psychological state having substantially lowered, I continue to try as hard as I can to get out of the situation. It is challenging for me to come out of it so soon, yet I am attempting to heal myself psychologically, through several therapy sessions. My passions include dancing, watching series, and immersing myself in music; I have a deep affection for songs in both English and French, and I enjoy singing. For example, I am a huge fan of Haifa Wehbe. I adore her because this artist has suffered greatly for a long period. Her art was not accepted by our society. She was married and experienced a prolonged separation from her daughter, and Haifa was frequently mistreated. Haifa began her journey from scratch, initially making appearances in advertisements and playing minor roles in music videos alongside other Arab artists. Haifa provides me with an abundance of motivation and a positive outlook in life.

Haifa Wehbe is over fifty, yet when I see her, she appears to be in her thirties or younger. Truly, age is only a number. She brings me so much happiness and joy. Haifa now stands as one of the most significant figures in the Arab world for both acting and singing, despite the injustice she has endured. Her acting is exceptional and her singing, enchanting. Haifa is my role model, and I would want to sing one of her songs for you:

Ahdam Khabrieye, by Haifa Wahbi

The funniest and sweetest news, he is coming to pass it on to me

He said he never had betrayed me; he is in love with me (x2)

But I know the nature of men, they are like water on a sieve

They lie under all circumstances. Morning, noon, and evening (x2)

I hope to be more positive, and extend my wishes for joy and happiness to myself, all my friends, and everyone else. May each individual have a strong will and attitude, and refuses to give up, for we are the strongest. We make ourselves joyful without relying on others to do so for us. My heartfelt thanks go out to all. I am overjoyed to be in the United Kingdom and deeply grateful to everyone who has supported me, and I consider them family. Despite the distance from my family, I am eager to assure my father and mother that I am in good hands, and I deeply appreciate it.