"The Effects"

A part of me missing
A part of me gone
Somethings not right now 
My body feels wrong.
Pieces were stolen.
Innocence - Gone.
No more sweet hopefulness
No more seeing the good before the bad.
The button pushed to high alert.
Walls never coming down.
Thrown into a new perspective of the world around.
What happened to the safety I used to feel?
What happened to the real smile?
Not the cover for my frown
I don't know where to find my answers.
I just know I am on the ground.

- - -

"My Bubble"

I live in a bubble all by myself 
Just out of reach high up on my shelf
If only I knew how to deal with my own mental health. 
Plenty of people around me so close
They can reach through the bubble
It isn't real it is in my head
My demons cry out, they want to be fed.  
I still have a way before I fall of the ledge.
I am just watching over the edge
I am stronger than the actions of one stupid guy.
I have to keep going
stop breaking down
don’t cry
I only have one life I don't want it do die before its time.

- - -

"Flashbacks"

Underneath the pale white skin 
Lies an anger deep within.
It bubbles and burns to the very core
From inside the feelings want to soar
Opening up the door of the heart could make the word fall apart
Tears welling up in the ducts of the eyes
The waterfall begins to rise
Disguising the pain with a mask becomes the must do task.
Wanting to contain it all in a flask
To trap the feelings inside and hide
Forever locked up I wish they would bide. 
But the tide of emotions continue to rise. 
Knowing this does not make me feel wise 
I'm stuck on this ride and I cannot get off.
I long for all this pain to stop and to keep the anger behind a lock. 
But flashbacks always come knocking on the door of my mind.
With no invitation or permission to come inside.
With this tide touch feeling of emotion far too high
that makes me want to scream and cry.
That same stuck feeling that I want to deny.
An inward sigh of relief
When it’s over 
for now..